IteMania
by J.C. Doggendoodle
Summary: 20 items, about 30 challenges, 1 million dollars up for grabs. The winner takes it all.
1. Prologue

**IteMania**

**Prologue: Excitement in Store**

Button walked down the poultry and meat aisle of the Superfood Store, picking up a whole chicken from a shelf.

"100% pure chicken," it read. Button shrugged and dropped the chicken into the trolley before walking off to the till.

"Morning, Pádraig," said Button, unloading his trolley.

"Top of the morning to ya, Button," said Pádraig. "And remember, you can call me Paddy."

"Alright then, Paddy," the college professor said, standing around after unloading his trolley. He turned around to see a trolley coming straight for him, with T-Square in it. The trolley zoomed past him, knocking him over. Paddy watched in shock as Haphazard ran past in the direction T-Square went, followed by 45D.

"Sorry about that, Button," she said, pushing Button up. "Haphazard accidentally pushed T-Square into the trolley."

"How do you-" Paddy started, before being cut off by 60D racing past. "Come on, 45D!" he cried.

She nodded, and turned to Paddy and Button. "See ya later!" She then ran off.

Meanwhile, in another, accident-free part of the store…

Neapolitan, Saumon and Cocktail Sausage were shopping for a birthday present for one of their friends.

"Should we get her a box of flowers?" Neapolitan held up a beautiful box of tulips, but Saumon shook her head.

"Whee…" went Cocktail Sausage.

"Maybe this box of chocolates?" Neapolitan suggested.

"It's her birthday, not Valentine's Day."

"Wheeee…"

"Maybe we should get her a… Hmm…"

"Whe-"

"COCKTAIL SAUSAGE, SHUT UP AND STOP ACTING LIKE A ROLLIN PIN!" cried Neapolitan.

Saumon suddenly had a great idea and grabbed-

"A rolling pin!"

Neapolitan stared her in the face, waited, and when Saumon kept holding up the rolling pin, facepalmed.

Key and Cup were talking about object shows; mainly, how to join one.

"Well we'd need a host," Key said.

"Mm-hmm," said Cup, stacking the shelves of the art and stationery aisle. "And a convenient place for all the main characters to be before said host shows up."

"Well, you're in luck!" said someone. All the other characters turned around to see a completely solved Rubik's Cube.

"My name is Rubix, and I'm looking for some characters to take part in my new object show, IteMania!"

"There's already some stuff on YouTube called that, to be sure, to be sure," said Paddy, blank-faced.

"Well, none of them are object shows!"

"Actually, there probably is," said Button. All the other characters nodded in agreement.

"WELL I DIDN'T COPY THEM SO LEAVE ME ALONE!" Rubix took a few deep breaths before continuing. "Anyway, the 11 of you will compete alongside 9 other objects in… IteMania!"

The 11 contestants were sitting in some wooden bleachers beside an area with 12 white podiums.

"So who are the contestants that are joining us?" asked Haphazard.

"Well, 5 characters recommended by some friends are joining us, along with 4 characters from already famous object shows on YouTube," Rubix started. "So let's get to the elimination!"

At that point in time, 12 objects fell from the sky onto the podiums.

"We have Pencil Case, Phone, House, Chicken Wing, Fork, Bony, Arrow, Rubber, Poster, Brick, Glasses and Bottle." He then turned to the recommended characters. "So here's how eliminations work.

"If you're safe you'll get a prize, and this elimination's prizes are cookies!"

The recommended characters oohed and aahed.

"BUT, if you're not safe, you'll be booted into this machine behind me-" A complicated-looking machine loomed behind him – "and turned into a painting."

"Wait, WHAT?!" cried Bottle.

"I never agreed to that!" yelled Glasses.

"Well, too bad, Glasses, because you're the ONLY person who didn't get a vote."

"WHAT?!" cried Glasses, before being kicked into the machine by a boot on a pole.

"Now onto the people with votes. With only one vote, Pencil Case, you do not join."

Pencil Case had a look of fear on her face before being kicked out of the competition.

"With 2 and 3 votes respectively, Poster and Bottle, neither of you join."

They were both kicked into the machine.

"Chicken Wing."

He was shaking with fear.

"You were by far the most popular character with 14 votes, so you get a cookie AND you get to join the game!"

Chicken Wing smirked, caught the cookie and walked over to the bleachers.

"House, you were the second most popular, and get to join the game."

"Like, yeah!" said House, smiling widely. He caught the biscuit and walked over to the bleachers as well.

"Phone, Rubber and Arrow."

The mentioned characters looked nervous (Phone), scared (Arrow) and downright freaking out (Rubber).

"One of you got 8 votes, one of you got 7, and the third got 3. Phone, you got 8 votes, which was the third highest!"

"Like, yes!" she said, grabbing the cookie and walking to House.

"Well done, buddy!" he said, high-fiving Phone.

"Arrow, I'm sorry to say this…"

Arrow was sweating profusely.

"..but you got 7 votes and join the game. Rubber, you got only 3."

"YES!" Arrow exclaimed, before being knocked over by the cookie, being legless and all. Rubber was booted into the machine.

"Fork, you got 4 votes, just missing out on the 5th spot."

"What? But I was meant to win! I'M THE BEST! **_YOU WILL REGRET THI-_**" The boot cut his monologue short.

"Bony and Brick, you are the final two. One of you got 7 votes and will join. The other got 3 votes. Let's show the votes!"

The never-before-mentioned TV screen began showing the votes very, very slowly. Bony and Brick were worried, and it got to 3 on both of them when Bony cried, "HURRY UP!" and kicked the TV. Immediately, Brick's votes went up to 7, while Bony's stayed at 3. He was kicked into the painting machine, which immediately spit out pictures of Glasses, Fork, Pencil Case, Bony, Bottle, Poster and Rubber.

"I knew it," Brick said, catching the biscuit with one hand. He ate it while walking over to the bleachers. "How are you losers?" he said.

From that day on, he hated anvils much more than he did before.

"Alright, then," Rubix started, "now onto the famous characters. First, it's Lightbulb from 'Inanimate Insanity'."

"Hey, guys, what's up?" she said, before walking to the bleachers.

"Next to join us, a recommended character from 'Brawl of the Objects', it's-"

"Shamrock!" Paddy exclaimed. He jumped down and ran over to her. "How are ya, pal?"

"Fine, thanks," she said, walking to the bleachers. Paddy followed her, chatting with her.

"Next, it's Bubble from 'Battle for Dream Island'."

"Hoi guys!" she said, strolling to the bleachers before tripping over and popping. She later came out of the Bubble Recovery Centre.

"Finally, it's Map from Object Universe."

"Hi there!" said the floating, legless map. He went to the bleachers. Rubix turned to the camera.

"Join us next time on IteMania, where we'll decide the team captains, and one team will be up for elimination!"


	2. Balance, Balls and Baskets

**Chapter 1: Balance, Balls and Baskets**

"So why isn't anyone coming near us?" Chicken Wing asked, being new to the place and all.

"Well, Haphazard is kinda accident-prone," 45D replied.

"So?" he asked. "Everybody has accidents from time to time."

"Well, Haphazard's accidents are really major someti-" the set square replied. However, just then, Haphazard tripped over a wire, which sent a bowling ball running towards Lightbulb. Frightened, she ran away, setting off a series of gears that eventually pull up an anvil. The rope broke and dropped the anvil on Brick. He growled and stormed over to Haphazard.

"Nonononowait-"

BOOF!

"-mes," 45D finished. Her and Chicken Wing looked around, before quietly sneaking off.

"Hello contestants!" Rubix said, cheerfully. The atmosphere itself wasn't nearly as cheerful. Brick had a bandage round his head, while Haphazard had a bright purple bruise.

"What ha-"

"Don't ask, Rubix," Phone said.

"But I-"

"Just, like, shut up!" House yelled, arms crossed.

"OK, OK." He then addressed the others, saying, "Anyway, this next contest will determine the 4 team captains!"

"4?" Bubble wondered. "But aren't there, loike, usually 2 toim captains?"

"Yes, Bubble, but this show's different." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, you guys will be stood atop 20 podiums. There are dodgeballs on some, and there are baskets of dodgeballs on others. If you are knocked off your podium, you're out. Last 4 remaining will be the captains, and will get an Immunity Token and one other random Token."

"Tokens?" Key asked, rather confused.

"Well, in this show, like BFDI(A), there are Win Tokens, which can only be used before the results are shown at elimination, and which removes half your votes.

"However, we also have other tokens:

"The Immunity Token works like the Win Token, but removes ALL your tokens. They are given out every 3 challenges.

"The Revenge Token removes half your votes, like the Win Token, but adds them on to someone else up for elimination AND you choose who gets those votes.

"The Comeback Token is a major backstabber. It takes away all your votes, like an Immunity Token, but it adds them on the NEXT elimination."

"There are other tokens, but we'll deal with them later.

"So are you guys ready?"

There was a mixed response.

"GO!"

"You guys are going down!" yelled Brick, kicking a dodge ball at Arrow, who tried to dodge but failed miserably.

"Oh, by the way, Saumon, Cocktail Sausage and Map-"

"Has no-one noticed my new legs?" cried Map.

"Oh," Rubix said. "Well, then, Cocktail Sausage and Saumon, you two will get gravity shadows, so you can't fly up and hover over the platforms."

Brick, delighting in this fact, grabbed two dodgeballs and threw one at Cocktail Sausage and Saumon. He then threw one at Haphazard, who screamed and ducked, barely avoiding the dodgeball.

Meanwhile, 45D and Cup were trying to take out T-Square, who kept dodging the dodgeballs. Enraged, 45D threw a dodgeball really hard at T-Square. He caught it with his leg.

"And 45D is out!"

"WHAT?!" she cried before being booted into the bleachers. Cup threw a really strong throw at T-Square, who fell over and took Brick with him, only after he took out Neapolitan and Shamrock.

"So," Rubix said, "the only ones left are Map, Cup, 60D, Phone, Chicken Wing, Haphazard, Lightbulb, Bubble, Paddy, Button, Key and House."

Lightbulb threw a ball at Bubble, who popped. Laughing, she grabbed a ball from the hanging basket, and ended up hanging from it.

"Help!" she cried. A dodgeball soon put her out of her misery.

60D kicked a dodgeball really hard at Paddy, who jumped to Button's podium to avoid it. Both fell down.

Key, meanwhile, was avoiding dodgeballs from House and Phone. One hit her left side, knocking her down, but bouncing back at Phone, who also fell. 60D kicked a ball at House. It hit him but he didn't budge an inch. 60D kicked another ball. Then another.

Pretty soon there was a swarm of balls heading for House. He caught one, and 60D screamed in anger.

"Well, I'm out of here," House said, jumping down. "I'm bored."

"Now only Haphazard, Cup, Map and Chicken Wing are left." Rubix turned to the 4 objects left. "Congratulations! You guys are the team captains! Now, the order you pick in will be determined by chance. So, first is…" Rubix spun a wheel.

"Chicken Wing! Please pick someone onto your team."

"Hmm…" He considered this for a while before smiling. "I pick Brick. His brute force could come in handy."

Brick walked smirkily over to Chicken Wing.

Rubix spun the wheel. "Haphazard."

"I choose 45D. She's the only one that's ever nice to me, besides Chicken Wing."

45D walked happily to Haphazard.

Spinspinspinspinspin… "Map."

"I choose Arrow. I feel sorry for him." Arrow grinned and walked halfway to Map before being knocked over by a passing fly.

"Finally, Cup."

"I select… Neapolitan. I feel she'll do great in challenges." Neapolitan strolled over to Cup.

"Back to Chicken Wing!"

"I choose Saumon. She can fly."

"WHAT?!" cried Neapolitan, her face going red. "We're on separate teams?! Saumon and I are great friends!" She then noticed people looking at her. "Oh, I change colour depending on my mood sometimes."

"I choose House," said Haphazard.

"Lightbulb," said Map. "Come join my team!"

"Yay!" she said happily.

"I'll have…" He thought for a moment. "I'll have Phone."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" said House.

"I choose Bubble," said Chicken Wing.

"Paddy, get over here!" called Haphazard.

"T-Square," said Map.

"I get Key!" Cup cried happily.

"60D, I want you on my team, Chicken Wing said.

"Hmm…" Haphazard said. "This is a really tough choice.

"Shamrock is fun to be around, from what I've seen, but I don't know her that well.

"Button is brainy, being a college professor and all, but not that dexterous.

"And Cocktail Sausage is… well… weird.

"I choose…"

…

…

"…Shamrock."

"Yes!" cried Paddy, happy as can be.

"I'll have… Button," said Map, after some consideration.

"So that leaves me with Cocktail Sausage!" The sausage rolled over to Cup. "Welcome to my team!"

(After some team name picking…)

"OK, so now to spin the Token Machine to see which tokens you get! Chicken Wing, you're up first."

Chicken Wing grabbed the glass sphere and gave it a good spin. The tokens rumbled around inside, before one fell through the hole. Rubix grabbed it and showed it to him.

"Lucky you. You got another Immunity Token." Haphazard stepped up next and spun it. A green token fell out and Haphazard took it.

"A Win Token," he said. "Huh."

Map ran up next and spun it well, releasing a white Token. "This is one of those Comeback Tokens I told you about. Be careful."

Finally, Cup walked up and spun it gently, rocking a dreamy blue token out.

"Oh my gosh!" Rubix said, with puppy eyes. He rushed to it and picked it up, bowling over Cup. "This is a Dream Token.

"There are only two left in the whole WORLD!

"And this is one of them."

Rubix smiled and handed it to Cup with tears of joy. "Use it wisely, Cup, the Dream Token will keep you safe for 3 eliminations in a row!" Rubix shook off the tears and went back to normal.

"Anyway, for getting the worst token, Haphazard's team ( ie. Haphazard, 45D, House, Paddy and Shamrock) is up for elimination!"

They gasped.

"So anyway,

"Vote for one of these five to be eliminated. Also, you can like a character. The one with the most likes will get a prize, whilst the one with the most dislikes will be eliminated."


	3. Chapter 2: High-Flying Flags

**Chapter 2: High-Flying Flags**

"I can't believe we're up for elimination!" Haphazard said angrily, stomping the ground.

"Neither can I!" 45D agreed. House nodded and continued texting Phone.

"I mean, it's not MY fault that I just so happened to get a Win Token, whilst the others got better Tokens."

House turned off his phone and looked up. "Well, look on the bright side."

"Bright side? What bright side?"

"IT'S ST PATRICK'S DAY!" cried an Irish flag, which then flew to the front of a rather small parade, with Paddy waving a big sceptre-like thing and Shamrock marching in tune to the music being played by an invisible one-man band. Haphazard shrugged and walked over to join them.

* * *

"Hello, Warning Signs!" Rubix said, cheerful as ever.

There was no reply, although the flag was hovering beside them.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Warning Signs, meet Flag. He will be helping the team in place of whoever is eliminated this round. Anyway, time for the elimination.

"First, the likes. We got 12 likes this time, A LOT LESS than last time, but oh, well. Anyway, 45D, you only got one like and will not receive the prize."

"Aww!" she replied.

"House, you only got 2, so you don't get it either."

"Like I, like, care," she replied.

"The rest of you got 3 likes each, so we'll use RANDOM to decide."

"What's RANDOM?" Paddy asked.

"It's what they use on Who Wants To Be A Superstar by Owen96. Anyway, whoever comes top of the list gets the prize." He entered the three names, then pressed 'Enter'. The TV screen showed the list in the following order:

1. Shamrock

2. Paddy

3. Haphazard

"Congratulations, Shamrock! You get…" He spun the Token Machine. "An Immunity Token!"

"Yay!" she replied, retrieving it.

"Now for the dislikes. We received 10 dislikes. Shamrock, you are the only person to get none."

"YES!"

"Haphazard and House, you two are safe with 1 and 2 dislikes respectively."

They both showed their happiness.

"Paddy, 45D. One of you got 3 dislikes, while the other is eliminated at 4. The loser is…"

…

…

…

"45D. Congratulations Paddy. Everyone who is safe gets a St Patrick's Day badge." He threw 4 badges, and the safe people caught them.

"Does this mean I'll become a painting?" 45D asked, worriedly.

"I'm afraid so." The boot kicked her into the machine, and Rubix picked up the painting and hung it in the hall of losers.

"Okay, so today's challenge will be a St. Patrick's themed challenge."

"Which is?" said Eraser from BFDI.

"Hoi was getting to that," Bubble said. "And oinyway, oiren't you meant to be in the ToiLC?"

A wild Finger appeared and sent him back.

"Anyway, this challenge will be a shamrock hunt!"

"Found her," 60D cried.

"Not THAT shamrock," Rubix said. "Shamrocks in the grass or in bags or, you know, basically non-living shamrocks."

"Hmph!" Shamrock… um, 'hmph'ed. "My kind do not appreciate being uprooted from the gro-"

"There are lots of places you can find them. In trees, in the grass, or in the Shamrock-shaped hedge maze, where they're in bags. HOWEVER, in order for a shamrock to count, it must have four leaves. Place the shamrocks you find into your corresponding tub, and whichever team has the least shamrocks will be up for elimination. You have 20 minutes.

"Oh, and one more thing. Since they lost last time, the Warning Signs get a 50-shamrock bonus for their team. GO!"

The teams each walked away, and House, Chicken Wing and Neapolitan went into the maze and split up.

"Ugh, this will take so long," House groaned, before he took out his DavedrewTM Nebula 4 and began texting Phone, not paying attention to his surroundings. After walking through 3 hedges, he tripped over a bag, sending his phone flying into the bush. He got up, dusted himself off, retrieved his phone, dusted it off and turned around to discover a bag of shamrocks. He grabbed it and walked back the way he came, emptying it into his tub. He then went back into the maze.

**Warning Signs: 84**

House: 34

Neapolitan and Chicken Wing also got out with their own bags and then went back into the maze.

**Warning Signs: 84** (House: 34)

**Team Chicken Wing: 31 **(Chicken Wing: 31)

**Objection: 42 **(Neapolitan: 42)

Meanwhile, the rest of The Warning Signs were searching among the grass, and after 4 minutes, Haphazard dumped them into his tub.

**Warning Signs: 112**

House: 34, Haphazard: 28

**Team Chicken Wing: 31**

Chicken Wing: 31

**Objection: 42**

Neapolitan: 42

River Rapids were having some difficulty, until Map discovered a huge tub of shamrocks.

**Warning Signs: 112 **House: 34, Haphazard: 28

**Team Chicken Wing: 31 **Chicken Wing: 31

**Objection: 42 **Neapolitan: 42

**River Rapids: 116 **Map: 116

In the next 10 minutes, Brick and Arrow had climbed the trees and collected a good few shamrocks, Button had entered the maze and all four maze-goers had gotten more shamrocks, and Flag knocked a bag of 'em down from a flagpole, then flew up to get them before someone else caught them.

"1 MINUTE LEFT!" cried Rubix. "There is a golden shamrock in the maze worth 100 points. Whoever puts it into their tub will win a Token and secure their team's safety!"

Everyone headed for the maze, searching for it. Suddenly, Cocktail Sausage saw it, as did Lightbulb, Shamrock and 60D. They all grabbed for it, and Shamrock made a break for the exit with it.

"30 SECONDS LEFT!"

60D tackled Shamrock to the ground, and the shamrock hurtled towards Haphazard.

"15 SECONDS!"

Haphazard ducked to avoid it, but it just bounced off him into the air.

"FIVE!"

It flew…

"FOUR!"

…and flew…

"THREE!"

…Flag tried to catch it, but fumbled, and it fell…

"TWO!"

and fell…

"ONE!"

…until it landed in Bubble's tub.

* * *

"TIME'S UP! LET'S SEE THE FINAL SCORES!"

**Warning Signs: 191 **(House: 84, Haphazard: 28, Flag: 29, Bonus of 50)

**Team Chicken Wing: 186 **(Chicken Wing: 70, Brick: 16, Bubble: 100)

**River Rapids: 201 **(Map: 116, Arrow: 24, Button: 61)

**Objection: 86 **(Neapolitan: 86)

"As you can see, Bubble got the golden shamrock and not only saved her team, but also gets to spin the Token Machine."

She spun it well and received an Armor Token.

"This token will protect you from ALL token effects, both good and bad.

"Now," Rubix continued, "as well as that, Map gets a token for having the most points!"

"Yes," Map said, and from the machine he received a Morph Token.

"This token is completely useless, as it only lets you morph into another contestant."

"Aww," Map said.

"So readers,

"Vote for either Cup, Key, Phone or Cocktail Sausage to be eliminated or get a prize. Neapolitan gets immunity for actually doing any work."

* * *

**So, listen to Rubix and like/dislike anyone on Objection except Neapolitan. Voting ends on Saturday 12:30 GMT.**


End file.
